The Virgin and the Volcano
With little warning, she walked into my life,
and from the second I looked her in her eyes, my heart was spoken for.
The strength of the pull I felt in the center of my being…like a puppet on a string,
I was drawn to her almost without any conscious will of my own.
Immediately I wanted to give myself to her-like some intangible force, ripping off my clothes
like a virgin sacrificed to a volcano-I was thrown in-naked and confused.
She disorients me with her skin and lulls me into submission with her voice.
I am without will or desire to resist.
She makes me high.
We found our rhythm somehow-two people falling into step with one another,
unsure who set the pace,
or how we traveled so far so fast.
In her arms I was home. In her kiss I was in Heaven. Under her gaze I was at peace.
She became very quickly, my favorite place and my only vice.
It was her way with me-
that changed me.
Opened me-reached in and cracked open a desire hidden away
and a need long-since supressed.
OH MY GOD SHE HURTS ME SO GOOD.
When she disciplines me I lose all sense of reality.
I am under her spell.
Enchanted under a mix of love and cruelty
that tickles my soul like sweet and sour on the tongue,
I have grown to crave her in a deep and profoundly erotic way.
The things I’ve thought, the visions I’ve had…
some of them so raw and animalistic even I
-can’t say them out loud.
She has awakened a panther inside of me
that has been asleep for too long.
And SHE is STARVING.
She studied me.
Observed my integrity-gawked at my naivety.
SHE
Traced my purity with her fingertips.
And then she ravished me.
Tucking my purity in her pocket like a prized pair of panties after a trophy score-
and replacing them with #bgp (Big Girl Panties)
She loved me still. Even when those #bgp cost her my commitment.
She is made of silk and steel-
She tastes like cool lemonade on a hot Louisiana summer’s day.
She is magic and mystery but can’t see it.
But my eyes see her more than naked.
I see her soul.
Her scars make me love her more. Deeper. Freer.
Finally. She opened her heart to me. Like the breaking of a damn it washed over me…
More boundaries.
“Do not enter” signs- More
“You can’t talk to me about…”
More things I need to give up to have her.
More time alone.
I heard my heart break.
I kept silent. So as not to admit.
That the love I had for her-
Was only meant for a time.
That our love was a bright,
blazing- jealousy-inciting-shooting star,
that runs its course quickly.
And that our time is almost up.
It is nearly time…to let go.
To set free.
To disentangle.
More kissing…more lashes…more connection and craving…
and more tears when she will no longer be here to see them.
I crawl out of the Volcano.
I am dripping and trembling
for a brief second I am angry-
I shout to the sky about how I have HAD ENOUGH of broken hearts,
and WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!!!
Only to feel something is different.
And I discover that I now have wings.
Volcano? Or Chrysalis?
She is both.
~By Mistress Mia Payne/Feb 2016~
